Wednesday, June 30, 2010

A Good Day

Eight years ago today, I married my best friend, a man who challenges me, comforts me, supports me, and loves me deeply. Who knew then where we'd be today! I have to say my life is better than I imagined it could be. I have a loving husband and four beautiful children, a place to live, food to eat, an exciting career path...what more could I ask for? Papa Runner has been an amazing blessing. We're not perfect, but we're so good together. God knew what He was doing when He led us to each other.

This has also been a good day for a few other reasons starting with a great morning run. I sent in my registration for Doula class, heard from an area doula who would be interested in partnering with me down the road, got my registration forms for our homeschool co-op group, and made arrangements to see BABIES the Movie on July 8 (see post below if you'd like to come.) I'm also planning a double first birthday party for the family next week. Now we're going to make homemade pizza for supper and enjoy skillet cookies for dessert.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Let's go to the Movies!

ETA: After looking over my calendar, Thursday the 8th works best for me. The movie is only 80min, so I'm planning to bring Smartie for sure, and maybe Sweetie as well. I've heard from other mothers that have seen it that their children really enjoyed it. So if anyone wants to join me, let me know.

I'm so excited! The documentary movie Babies is coming to the Normal Theater July 8-11 at 7:00 each night. Anyone want to see it with me? I'm thinking of taking Smartie, too, so we could make it a Mom and Daughter event.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Infant Mortality in the United States

Did you know that the United States ranks 29th among the world's nations in infant mortality? Did you know that African American babies are three times as likely to die before their first birthday as white babies?

I just watched a film, Crisis In the Crib, about this issue. (You can watch it here. It's about 35 minutes long.)

This year, our VBS charity was a Healthy Start program for teenage mothers. The information I learned about this program, the video, and my own recent aspirations of becoming a doula are starting to combine in my head. Can God use me in this area? Could I offer prenatal counseling, doula services, and mothering mentorship, especially breastfeeding help, to at-risk women? It's something I'm seriously praying about now.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What I Want to Be When I Grow Up

When I was pregnant with Smartie, I knew I wanted to have a natural birth. I took the childbirth classes and thought I was prepared. Little did I know I'd have potentially life-threatening complications, need to be induced prematurely, and labor in bed heavily drugged and unable even to roll over without help. (You can read Smartie's birth story here.) I look back at her birth and can't think of a single thing I could have done differently.

Even though I think it was all necessary, I still felt a lot of disappointment about Smartie's birth. When I got pregnant again, I was determined things would be different. I learned more about natural birth, my particular complication, and prepared myself. Then I got pre-eclampsia for a second time. It was a much milder case, but I had a choice. I could wait for labor to start on its own, hoping for my completely natural birth but risking a repeat of getting as sick as I was with Smartie, or accept an induction. I chose the induction. Long story short, my birth was ruined by the doctor's choice of induction meds combined with a panicky nurse who yelled at everyone. (You can read the full story here.)

After the disaster that was Sweetie's birth, my desire for natural birth became an all-out obsession. Every day I thought about what I should have done differently, would do differently, imagining scenarios of yelling back at the nurse and dramatically kicking people out of my room. I read dozens of birth stories and books on childbirth, learning everything I could about common interventions and the medical mindset of most OBs. I decided I wanted a home birth, even though the midwives I talked to were reluctant to take me due to my history of severe complications. And then I found out I was pregnant with twins, and my hopes were dashed once again.

I did find a wonderful OB and CNM who co-managed my case and were very supportive of doing everything as naturally as possible. When I got PE for the third time and was on hospital bedrest for 3 weeks, I knew an induction was inevitable but still hoped for a better experience than with Sweetie. And Sassy's birth was better, despite an idiot nurse who kept turing up pitocin after labor was well established against my express wishes. Then Monkey turned breech, and his birth ended up being my worst of all. (You can read their stories here and here.)

It's been a year, and I still think about childbirth every day. Papa Runner and I have made the difficult decision not to have any more children (at least not biological), and yet I still think of it. The grief I feel over my lost birth experience is consuming me.

And then I had a brainstorm. Even though my chance at a powerful, fulfilling birth is over, maybe I can find healing in helping other women. I want to be a doula, a birth support person! If I'd had a doula with Sweetie, how much differently would things have gone! And a doula would have noticed the nurse sneaking in to increase my pitocin with the twins. I've started looking into certification, and it's something very doable even with four young kids. I'm going to talk to some doulas I know in the area tomorrow, and then I'm signing up for the first training class in September. So if you know anyone who wants birth support in the next year or two, I'll work for cheap. I need to attend at least 3 births for my certification. How great that my grief can turn into a passion that helps others!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Hard Run

Whose briliant idea was it to sign up for a race in August in Illinois? Mine, you say? Oh, okay.

I did 7 miles in 85-90F heat today. I started out okay, but around the half way point I had to decrease my running ratio. Ended up finishing in just under 2 hours, way too slow to meet the deadline in Mahomet. I either need to get faster, tougher, or pray for cool weather on race day.

On the plus side, I'm past the half-way mark. 13.1, here I come!

Looking forward to the Disney Princess race in February. It should be a little cooler even though it's in Florida.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Brain Study

Researchers are looking for women to participate in a study on brain function after pre-eclampsia. Participants must have had their first pregnancy after 1990 and not be currently pregnant or had a baby in the last 3 months. It takes about 15 minutes to fill out the survey. They are comparing women who did and did not have pre-eclampsia or a related syndrome, so all women can participate even if they didn't have PE. Click here for more information and to participate.