Saturday, August 29, 2009
Three Pixies and a Linebacker
Where did this kid come from? Monkey is almost always the first to get hungry, he eats an extra 4oz of supplement a day, and he's gained an extra 10oz above what Sassy has gained. It's a bit unnerving--I keep thinking Sassy's not gaining enough even though she's gaining as well as or better than her sisters at this age, just because I've got Monkey showing her up!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Wish us luck!
Today I took Sweetie to the store. We bought---drum roll please---Dora panties!!! She's really excited about wearing them and assures me that tomorrow she'll be using the potty chair. Fingers crossed that this works!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I do it myself/I can't
For the last two weeks, Sweetie has insisted on getting dressed "by myself." She tries and tries, gets frustrated, screams for help, screams some more because she doesn't want help, etc. You all know what I'm talking about. Well, she's finally figured it out and has successfully dressed herself since Saturday.
And today? "I CAAAAAAN'T! I NEED HEEEEELP!" Well, I'm just too tired to deal with her today (six weeks of sleep deprivation is really catching up to me.) So I left her crying on the floor. And her solution? "I'll just be naked today, Mommy." *sigh*
And today? "I CAAAAAAN'T! I NEED HEEEEELP!" Well, I'm just too tired to deal with her today (six weeks of sleep deprivation is really catching up to me.) So I left her crying on the floor. And her solution? "I'll just be naked today, Mommy." *sigh*
Monday, August 17, 2009
The Story of Monkey
I already wrote about my labor in Sassy’s story, so I’ll start with what happened after Sassy’s birth.
After Sassy was born, the intensity of my contractions dropped so much it was like they weren’t even there. I fell into a half-sleep and just rested. Dr. S got there two minutes after Sassy was born. The first thing he did was a quick ultrasound to check on Monkey. Unfortunately, Monkey had turned breech. Dr. S was aware of my desire for as natural a birth as possible and my extreme desire to avoid a c-section. We had talked about the possibility of Baby B turning breech as Baby A was born, and he had agreed to attempt a breech delivery if it came to that. But first we were going to attempt a version.
The anesthesiologist was more or less freaking out in the background, strongly insisting that we needed to do a spinal immediately. But Dr. S was true to my wishes and made two attempts at a version without it. He was not successful. At that point, he and I talked through our options. He wanted to try a more aggressive version but thought it best to go ahead with the spinal at this point. For one thing, the already-attempted versions had been very painful for me and this would be worse. For another, if something went wrong we’d have to do an immediate c-section. There might not be time for a spinal, and then I’d have to be put under. I decided to accept the spinal.
The freaked-out anesthesiologist was very relieved to be doing the spinal he’d longed for. He obviously had no confidence in either a successful version or a successful breech delivery, because he gave me the whole gamut of c-section drugs instead of the minimum dose I’d been expecting. Once again, I entered my half-asleep state.
I don’t remember much of what was going on, but Papa Runner said there were three people involved in the version—Dr. S, midwife Sara, and a nurse all pushing on my stomach in a coordinated effort. As soon as Monkey turned, Dr. S grabbed the vacuum extractor to pull him out as fast as possible. This was something I didn’t realize had happened until Brett told me later. He said it was crazy to see how hard they pulled on him.
The next thing I knew, they were yelling at me to push. I couldn’t feel a darn thing and have no idea if I was even pushing. I heard them say the head was out and to push more. At this point I was very confused. I didn’t realize they had flipped him, thought we were doing a breech delivery, and couldn’t figure out why I still needed to push if the head was out. And then my brain caught up and realized the version had been a success.
Monkey finally made his grand entrance at 9:49 am, 24 minutes after his sister. He weighed in at 5lb 12oz and 17.5 inches. Due to the trauma of his version and vacuum-assisted delivery, his initial APGAR was 3, but he quickly improved to a 9. So my best, almost-intervention-free birth was followed by my worst, intervention-heavy birth. BUT we avoided the c-section, so I was happy.
Just one more thing to add: When I was able to nurse both babies soon after, Sassy, who was pain-med free and birthed as my body directed, was awake, aware, and eager to nurse. Monkey, who got a high dose of spinal meds, was very aggressively turned, and then yanked out with a vacuum, was groggy and uninterested. In my previous births, I wasn’t allowed to nurse Smartie because she was a preemie and taken to the NICU, and Sweetie, who also was born after a spinal, was groggy and uninterested in nursing. How amazing the difference natural childbirth makes!
If you want to read my other birth/pregnancy stories, here they are: Smartie, Grace, Sweetie, and Ian.
After Sassy was born, the intensity of my contractions dropped so much it was like they weren’t even there. I fell into a half-sleep and just rested. Dr. S got there two minutes after Sassy was born. The first thing he did was a quick ultrasound to check on Monkey. Unfortunately, Monkey had turned breech. Dr. S was aware of my desire for as natural a birth as possible and my extreme desire to avoid a c-section. We had talked about the possibility of Baby B turning breech as Baby A was born, and he had agreed to attempt a breech delivery if it came to that. But first we were going to attempt a version.
The anesthesiologist was more or less freaking out in the background, strongly insisting that we needed to do a spinal immediately. But Dr. S was true to my wishes and made two attempts at a version without it. He was not successful. At that point, he and I talked through our options. He wanted to try a more aggressive version but thought it best to go ahead with the spinal at this point. For one thing, the already-attempted versions had been very painful for me and this would be worse. For another, if something went wrong we’d have to do an immediate c-section. There might not be time for a spinal, and then I’d have to be put under. I decided to accept the spinal.
The freaked-out anesthesiologist was very relieved to be doing the spinal he’d longed for. He obviously had no confidence in either a successful version or a successful breech delivery, because he gave me the whole gamut of c-section drugs instead of the minimum dose I’d been expecting. Once again, I entered my half-asleep state.
I don’t remember much of what was going on, but Papa Runner said there were three people involved in the version—Dr. S, midwife Sara, and a nurse all pushing on my stomach in a coordinated effort. As soon as Monkey turned, Dr. S grabbed the vacuum extractor to pull him out as fast as possible. This was something I didn’t realize had happened until Brett told me later. He said it was crazy to see how hard they pulled on him.
The next thing I knew, they were yelling at me to push. I couldn’t feel a darn thing and have no idea if I was even pushing. I heard them say the head was out and to push more. At this point I was very confused. I didn’t realize they had flipped him, thought we were doing a breech delivery, and couldn’t figure out why I still needed to push if the head was out. And then my brain caught up and realized the version had been a success.
Monkey finally made his grand entrance at 9:49 am, 24 minutes after his sister. He weighed in at 5lb 12oz and 17.5 inches. Due to the trauma of his version and vacuum-assisted delivery, his initial APGAR was 3, but he quickly improved to a 9. So my best, almost-intervention-free birth was followed by my worst, intervention-heavy birth. BUT we avoided the c-section, so I was happy.
Just one more thing to add: When I was able to nurse both babies soon after, Sassy, who was pain-med free and birthed as my body directed, was awake, aware, and eager to nurse. Monkey, who got a high dose of spinal meds, was very aggressively turned, and then yanked out with a vacuum, was groggy and uninterested. In my previous births, I wasn’t allowed to nurse Smartie because she was a preemie and taken to the NICU, and Sweetie, who also was born after a spinal, was groggy and uninterested in nursing. How amazing the difference natural childbirth makes!
If you want to read my other birth/pregnancy stories, here they are: Smartie, Grace, Sweetie, and Ian.
The Story of Sassy
This is the first half of my twin birth story. Sassy and Monkey may have shared a womb for 36 weeks, and they may have had 5 hours of labor in common, but their deliveries were so completely different I can’t help but think of them as separate births. And so I’ll write and post about them separately. This is Sassy’s; Monkey’s follows.
After three weeks of hospital bedrest, I was finally being induced. I had spent the last week doing breast stimulation and pressure-point massage in an attempt to start labor on my own, with limited success. I was able to trigger contractions as long as I was massaging, but as soon as I stopped so did the contractions. But they were doing something. I was dilated to a 2+ the morning before my scheduled induction.
I spent most of that night really working on triggering labor. By 4:00 that morning I was having regular contractions, but they weren’t strong enough to be considered active labor. I was, however, dilated to a 4+. I talked things over with the nurse (didn’t catch her name) and we decided to keep the pitocin on the lowest dose because it wasn’t going to take much to start my labor. My contractions quickly strengthened and we were on our way by 5:00.
At 7:00 the shift changed, and either Nurse Lori wasn’t informed of the plan or she chose to ignore it because she started turning up the pitocin without my realizing it.
At 8:00, Dr. S came in to break my water (just Sassy's bag). I was dilated to a 6 at that point. Things really picked up, and I lost track of time from then on. Because of my blood pressure issues, I was limited to laboring in bed. I had Papa Runner turn on the sound machine to Ocean Waves and use the massage vibrator on my lower back. With every contraction, I visualized things opening—flowers, doors, gates, etc.—while listening to the waves crash and doing my best to relax my muscles. I got up to use the bathroom, and after that things really got intense. I started vocalizing through the contractions, monotone humming. I had a couple really intense ones, and then came the big one.
I had read that most women who want natural childbirth are most likely to break down and ask for drugs during transition because they think it will be that intense for hours to come. In reality, when you reach the point where you think you can’t do it, you’ll probably be ready to push in 20 minutes or so. I had that one big contraction where I said I couldn’t do it, and immediately my mind replied, “Twenty minutes, you can do this for twenty minutes!” Little did I know, transition was over with just that one contraction.
As I came out of that contraction, I looked over and saw Nurse Lori turn up the pitocin. I was appalled at how high it was now set, seeing how labor had already been established for several hours and there was no need to raise the dose. No wonder the contractions had been so intense! I looked her dead in the eye and said, “You need to turn that off!” She said she couldn’t without a doctor’s order. I said, “You need to at least turn it down.” She wanted to wait through a few contractions to see how I handled this new dose.
Just then another contraction started, and I said, “I feel pushy.” WHAT?!? She went to check my cervix and instead found Sassy’s head already crowning. Guess what? She turned off the pitocin without a doctor’s order. DUH!
At that point, I completely tuned out everything around me and just focused on what my body was telling me to do. I know they moved me down the hall to the c-section room (the one thing my Dr. insisted on with the twin delivery—he was great about allowing almost everything I wanted.) I know the nurses were yelling at me not to push, to just pant through. Lucky for them, my body was also telling me to just pant through. I’d pant to the top of the contraction, give one push that I couldn’t have stopped if you paid me, and pant down the other side.
I had thought I would want to deliver on my hands and knees, since that was my instinct with Sweetie. This time, though, my instinct was to lie on my side pulling one leg up into the air. This was good, because I have a feeling the nurses wouldn’t have been happy with me getting on my hands and knees with as fast as things were moving.
I remember hearing someone say, “Dr. S is on the phone, he’s one minute out.” Push, pop, *waaaa* there was Sassy at 9:25 am, just 5 hours from the start of the induction. Aside from pitocin and breaking my water, she was born intervention free and pain med free! She weighed in at 5lb 2oz, 17.25 inches, with APGAR scores of 9 and 9. Her birth was really amazing and beautiful, as close to what I wanted as I’ll ever get. I'm so happy to have gotten one out of four that way.
After three weeks of hospital bedrest, I was finally being induced. I had spent the last week doing breast stimulation and pressure-point massage in an attempt to start labor on my own, with limited success. I was able to trigger contractions as long as I was massaging, but as soon as I stopped so did the contractions. But they were doing something. I was dilated to a 2+ the morning before my scheduled induction.
I spent most of that night really working on triggering labor. By 4:00 that morning I was having regular contractions, but they weren’t strong enough to be considered active labor. I was, however, dilated to a 4+. I talked things over with the nurse (didn’t catch her name) and we decided to keep the pitocin on the lowest dose because it wasn’t going to take much to start my labor. My contractions quickly strengthened and we were on our way by 5:00.
At 7:00 the shift changed, and either Nurse Lori wasn’t informed of the plan or she chose to ignore it because she started turning up the pitocin without my realizing it.
At 8:00, Dr. S came in to break my water (just Sassy's bag). I was dilated to a 6 at that point. Things really picked up, and I lost track of time from then on. Because of my blood pressure issues, I was limited to laboring in bed. I had Papa Runner turn on the sound machine to Ocean Waves and use the massage vibrator on my lower back. With every contraction, I visualized things opening—flowers, doors, gates, etc.—while listening to the waves crash and doing my best to relax my muscles. I got up to use the bathroom, and after that things really got intense. I started vocalizing through the contractions, monotone humming. I had a couple really intense ones, and then came the big one.
I had read that most women who want natural childbirth are most likely to break down and ask for drugs during transition because they think it will be that intense for hours to come. In reality, when you reach the point where you think you can’t do it, you’ll probably be ready to push in 20 minutes or so. I had that one big contraction where I said I couldn’t do it, and immediately my mind replied, “Twenty minutes, you can do this for twenty minutes!” Little did I know, transition was over with just that one contraction.
As I came out of that contraction, I looked over and saw Nurse Lori turn up the pitocin. I was appalled at how high it was now set, seeing how labor had already been established for several hours and there was no need to raise the dose. No wonder the contractions had been so intense! I looked her dead in the eye and said, “You need to turn that off!” She said she couldn’t without a doctor’s order. I said, “You need to at least turn it down.” She wanted to wait through a few contractions to see how I handled this new dose.
Just then another contraction started, and I said, “I feel pushy.” WHAT?!? She went to check my cervix and instead found Sassy’s head already crowning. Guess what? She turned off the pitocin without a doctor’s order. DUH!
At that point, I completely tuned out everything around me and just focused on what my body was telling me to do. I know they moved me down the hall to the c-section room (the one thing my Dr. insisted on with the twin delivery—he was great about allowing almost everything I wanted.) I know the nurses were yelling at me not to push, to just pant through. Lucky for them, my body was also telling me to just pant through. I’d pant to the top of the contraction, give one push that I couldn’t have stopped if you paid me, and pant down the other side.
I had thought I would want to deliver on my hands and knees, since that was my instinct with Sweetie. This time, though, my instinct was to lie on my side pulling one leg up into the air. This was good, because I have a feeling the nurses wouldn’t have been happy with me getting on my hands and knees with as fast as things were moving.
I remember hearing someone say, “Dr. S is on the phone, he’s one minute out.” Push, pop, *waaaa* there was Sassy at 9:25 am, just 5 hours from the start of the induction. Aside from pitocin and breaking my water, she was born intervention free and pain med free! She weighed in at 5lb 2oz, 17.25 inches, with APGAR scores of 9 and 9. Her birth was really amazing and beautiful, as close to what I wanted as I’ll ever get. I'm so happy to have gotten one out of four that way.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
BFAR
I'm a contributing blogger for the BFAR website (Breast Feeding After Reduction surgery.) This is my most recent blog entry:
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Today is my due date. Monkey weighs 7lb 8oz, Sassy weighs 6lb 13oz. Wow, just think if I'd made it this far!
This is hard.
There, I said it. BFing twins is hard. BFARing is hard. BFARing twins is doubly hard.
I adore my children and wouldn't trade them for anything, but every once in a while I think how much easier it would have been if they'd come one at a time instead of together.
It would be easier if I didn't have to worry about moving my arm to latch Twin B and accidently pulling the tube from Twin A. It would be easier if I could nurse lying down and sleeping instead of always getting up in the night. It would be easier if I could let Sassy sleep until she wakes instead of having to wake her when Monkey wants to eat. It would be easier if I had 50% supply for one instead of 25% for two.
But I do what I do because I don't have a choice. I've been blessed with twins, and I WILL bless them with as much milk as I can give them. I just do it. And it really does get easier as we go.
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Today is my due date. Monkey weighs 7lb 8oz, Sassy weighs 6lb 13oz. Wow, just think if I'd made it this far!
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