Can I Keep You Forever?

I ask my kids that all the time. Until just last week, Smartie always said yes. Now she says I have to let her grow up and move out someday.

Sweetie, on the other hand, is NEVER moving out and is quite happy to let me keep her forever.

Monkey always says, "Yeah," and snuggles in a little closer.

And Sassy, at age 2, is already adamant that I am definitely NOT keeping her! At all! Ever! With a really horrified look on her face. I tell you, this girl is going to be my trouble teen. (But if we can channel her passion into a worthy cause, she's gonna change the world.)

Fish or Mammal?

Smartie studied aquatic animals last school year. This week she asked me, "Are mermaids fish or mammals? Because if they're mammals, they'd have to go to the surface to breathe, but King Triton wouldn't allow Ariel to go to the surface, so she'd die if she was a mammal. But if she's a fish she should have gills, and I didn't see any gills on her. And when she *did* go to the surface, she didn't die in the air either. So how do mermaids breathe, lungs or gills?"

Very good question. Why couldn't you be more scientifically accurate, Disney?

For Grace and Ian

May all mothers missing their babies find peace today.

Drawing

I should probably be embarrased or convicted or something, but really this drawing makes me laugh. A lot.



Smartie is reading in the middle. Sweetie is on the left asking if she can read, too. I'm on the right with a twin in each arm, very angry eyebrows, and yelling "No [Sweetie]! It is not time!"

Any Way You Can Half Marathon

Last weekend, my rinky-dink hometown of 2000 put on a half marathon. It was a fundraiser for the Lutheran church. They dubbed it the Any Way You Can Half Marathon: Half the Run, Twice the Fun. The flier announced, "Run it, walk it, bike it, golf cart it, any way you can." I couldn't resist such a fun race in my hometown.

There were 8 people on foot, 4 runners and 4 walkers (counting myself as a walker), 20 or so on bikes, a couple on scooters, and one guy driving his lawn mower with the grandkids riding behind on a cart. It was very casual--no official time kept, no medals, just a t-shirt and a post-race lunch. When I got there, I found out the course wasn't actually a half-marathon. Andy (who organized it) thought going from the church in town to the cemetery in the country and back would be pretty close, but when he actually measured the course it was only 11 miles--too short. A longer route heading west out of town was 14 miles--too long. Taking the longer route out and the shorter route back put it at 12.5--pretty close but still a little short. He ended up deciding the official course would be the longer 14 mile route, but that people had the option of taking the shortcut back and saving 1.5 miles. This was fine with me. One of my goals for the summer was to do at least two 14-milers. Turns out I was the only person on foot to do the full 14 miles. I finished in 3:32:35, which was pretty close to my goal time. I was happy with it even if I was the last one to finish (the 3 walkers behind me gave up around mile 8 and were picked up.)

My dad biked the full route, then walked back out via the shortcut to meet me and walk me in. He ended up doing about 8 miles walking. It was nice to spend time talking with Dad.

The route took us past my late best friend's childhood home. It brought back a lot of memories of laughing, crying, sharing secrets, and singing (LOTS of singing) together. Lisa loved to bike and liked to walk. She would have been just as tickled as me at the idea of Roanoke having a half marathon. I could see us walking together chatting the whole way. Of course, Lisa's death of leukemia was what motivated me to start endurance racing in the first place. If she had never had cancer, or had survived it, would I even have been walking it in the first place?

At The Zoo

Witten
By: Smartie

One day, Smartie, Sweetie, Mama Runner, Papa Runner, Sassy and Monkey went to the zoo!
They saw bears, snakes, monkeys, lions,
Tigers and ellafints.

They saw cats, groundhogs, bunnys, zebras and dolphins. They saw a park.
They went on the zoos swings. They went on dolphin rides. The zoo-olagists said it was okey. The zoo-olagists said “
Would you like to help feed the dolphins, too?

Papa Runner and Mama Runner looked at each other.
Please mom and daddy, please? Begged
Smartie, Sweetie and Monkey! Then Sassy changed her mind! May I feed them, too? Asked Sassy!

Oh, allright! Said daddy, still in thought, I tell you! Okey! Said Mommy, still a little worried! But stay out of their mouths. She continued, still a tiny bit less worried, I tell you.

The zoo-olagists said “ Great, and that will be 1 cent, so, which means you have to give us 4 cents. How is that?

The Runner Family thought about it for a minit! Then they agreed. Sure! Said Smartie, Sweetie and Mama Runner. Fine. Said Papa Runner. Okey! Said Sweetie, I tell you!

At the time to go home, the kids said “
Thanks for the rides. Bye-bye monkeys.
Sweet dreams cats! They end.

Happy Birthday, Ian

Three years ago today, my precious Ian was born. He was a little less than an inch long, but had recognizable arm buds, leg buds, and the beginnings of eyes. I labored mostly alone for a little over 24 hours, and gave birth alone in the bathroom. I love you, sweet baby.

July is a hard month for me. Not only did I lose Ian on the 26th, his sister Grace's estimated due date was the 11th. She would have turned 5 this summer.

Our trip to Mexico, where we almost killed someone

Our anniversary trip to Cancun was really awesome. We spent four days mostly relaxing on the beach. We did take a day trip to Chichen Itza, which was really cool to see, but the goal of this trip was relaxation. We did have one scary incident. After arriving late Friday night, Papa Runner got up Saturday morning and went out onto the balcony to take pictures. Here's one:



Moments after this picture was taken, Papa's knee gently bumped against the glass front of the balcony. The bracket holding the glass in place snapped, and the glass shattered and fell. Nine stories. Onto a walkway where two men were standing. The hotel staff were great about it. They had medics on the scene within minutes. One of the men needed stitches and was taken to a local hospital. He was back and playing on the beach by that evening. We were moved to another room, and throughout the rest of the trip we could see maintenance men inspecting all the balconies. Our first room with the glass missing:




Thank God there were only minor injuries. And thank God we didn't have the kids with us. I can just picture Monkey running out to the balcony, leaning against the glass, and dropping 9 stories.

After that rough start, we really enjoyed the rest of our trip. We had massages at the hotel spa on Sunday, then the trip to Chichen Itza on Monday, and some time on a jet ski on Tuesday. The temple at Chichen Itza:



The only pics of us together are on Papa's phone, so I don't have them available to share. We really enjoyed the chance to relax and reconnect.

Nine years together

Papa Runner and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary at the end of June. One of the things I love about my husband is that he's a planner. Retirement, college education funds, the week's grocery list organized by aisles, my man is on top of things.

This year Papa Runner spent 4 months planning our anniversary trip. We went to a Cubs game in Chicago on Thursday, spent the night at the O'hare Hilton, and flew to Cancun via Atlanta for a 5 night stay. (Lots of airline miles and hotel points racked up. He knows how to get awesome deals.) The kids went to my parents for the week.

On the Sunday before, I asked my mom if we could drop the kids off Wednesday afternoon so we wouldn't have to get them up so early Thursday morning. When Papa Runner found out, he decided we should be spontaneous and spend Wednesday night in Chicago, too, so we wouldn't have to get up early for the game. He then spent the next 3 days researching the best hotel to be spontaneous at. Yep, only three days of planning is very spontaneous for us!

I love you, Papa Runner. Looking forward to many more well-planned years together.

Monkey's favorite birthday present

Race Report a Month Late

I'm going offline for a month starting tomorrow, and I want to get my race report up. It's already a month late, but better late than never.

Having already done the Disney Princess Half Marathon in February, I was able to build on that training for the Illinois Half Marathon. I increased my running time from 1 minute per cycle to 2 (I do a run/walk interval of 4 minutes walking and 2 minutes running). During training I felt great and was pretty fast (for me). I went into the race knowing that, barring extreme bad luck, I was going to set a personal record. My previous record had been 3:06:06, and I was aiming for 3:02.

As I was moving toward the start line, I suddenly got a blank spot in the right side of my vision. That is always the first sign of a migraine headache. I couldn't believe it--this was supposed to be my PR day, and I was about to have blinding pain! I decided to just keep going and, if I had to, stop at a medical station to be picked up.

During the first two miles, the blind spot got bigger. It got so big, in fact, I had trouble seeing my watch. But I stuck with my 4:2 interval. During miles 2-4, the blind spot started shrinking. It's usually about that time that the pain hits, but I didn't get any pain. I did start getting the pins-and-needles tingling along my right side, another of my usual migraine symptoms, but it wasn't enough to make me slow down. In fact, I averaged 14 minute miles for the first 7 miles. By that time, all of my migraine symptoms were gone. I never did get any pain. Very weird.

One of my usual problems on race day is that I start out too fast and burn out around mile 10. My strategy for this race was to intentionally hold back in the first half and then push a little harder in the second. As I said, I averaged 14 minute miles during the first 7 miles, which was exactly what I had planned to do. From miles 7-11, I averaged 13 minute miles! I felt really strong the whole time. Coach Terry was working that stretch of the course and ran a couple miles with me. He told me several times how well I was doing. He had run with a few other TNT racers and said none of them were doing as well as me. I ended up passing several of them during that stretch.

Miles 11-13 were a little harder. I slowed back down to 14 minute miles, but that was still better than I had expected. The TNT tent was just outside the stadium where we finished. Papa Runner was waiting on that corner to cheer me on. As soon as I saw him, I started yelling, "PR! PR!" I headed into the stadium and across the field, finishing in 2:58:22! I was more than 3.5 minutes faster than I had expected, and almost 8 minutes faster than my previous record!

As I crossed the start line with early symptoms of a migraine, I wasn't sure I'd finish. Instead I crossed the finish line triumphant! I don't currently have another race lined up, but I will probably do 1 or 2 halves this summer/fall and make the Big Push for my first Full Marathon in January.

(Papa Runner also ran this race and also set a PR of 2:18:18--15 seconds faster than his previous best.)

___________________________________

Second race report:

Last weekend I did my first 5k. You'd think having done 5 half marathons I'd have done some shorter races, but no. I knew from my previous race that I was capable of doing 13 minute miles for 4 miles in the middle of a half marathon, so I wanted to do better than that for a race that's only 3.1. During my few weeks of training between races, I shortened my walking ratio from 4 minutes to 3. On race day I decided, what the heck, let's do 2 minutes walking. I did 2:2s through the whole race.

I did my first mile in 12 minutes. That's really fast for me. There were several others who were doing run/walk intervals at the back of the pack, and we kept passing each other over and over. I did my second mile in 11 minutes! I was really surprised. By this point, all the other run/walkers had switched to just walking, and I didn't see them again after the half-way point. My third mile was closer to 13 minutes, but still pretty fast for me. Final time was 36:55. Pretty good for my first 5k. When they announced the age group winners, I was actually ahead of the ladies who won the 40-49 and 60+ age groups. There are a few 5k's in my area this summer that I'd like to do. They make for good speed training as I build toward my first full marathon.

I'm Grateful to Be a Mother

This Mother's Day, as I do every year, I am thankful that I am able to watch my children grow up. I am the proud mother of four beautiful children, including a set of twins. While we are all healthy and happy now, our story could have been very different.

I had a wonderful, easy first pregnancy until around thirty weeks when I started having episodes of racing heartbeat and shortness of breath. I also started swelling quite a bit. My OB said my symptoms were just normal pregnancy stuff and that I shouldn’t worry. At my 34 week checkup, I had gained ten pounds in two weeks. My blood pressure was up a little, but “not enough to be concerning.” However, because I was obviously having trouble breathing, he gave me samples of an allergy medicine and told me to come back on Friday.

That Friday, at 35 weeks even, I had gained another four pounds in three days, was dipping +3 protein, and had a headache and spots in my vision as well as brisk reflexes. The OB wouldn’t even let me drive myself to the hospital. I had severe preeclampsia with central nervous system involvement, and would have to deliver within 48 hours.

I had never heard of preeclampsia before that day. I had no idea that my symptoms meant I was on the brink of a stroke or seizure. I had no idea that I was very quickly heading toward HELLP syndrome (another condition I had never heard of), and that my liver and kidneys were headed toward failure. If I hadn't gone to the hospital when I did, if I had tried to tough it out through the weekend until my next appointment, I very easily could have died. I also didn't know that my baby was being affected. She was mildly growth restricted, weighing just 4lb 4oz and with almost no body fat. She had trouble regulating her temperature for her first 6 months of life due to the lack of insulation.

Preeclampsia and related disorders are a leading cause of maternal and infant illness and death. They affect 5-8% of pregnancies and are responsible for 76,000 maternal and 500,000 infant deaths a year globally. Preeclampsia is characterized by high blood pressure and protein in the urine. Other symptoms may include excessive swelling, sudden weight gain, nausea and vomiting, abdominal and/or shoulder pain, lower back pain, headache, visual disturbances, hyperreflexia, racing pulse, shortness of breath, mental confusion, and anxiety. Eclampsia is diagnosed when the condition progresses to seizures and/or stroke. HELLP syndrome involves hemolysis (breaking down of red blood cells), elevated liver enzymes, and low platelets. There is no known cause and no way to prevent the condition. If caught early enough, it can be possible to slow the progression so that baby can have more time to grow, although sometimes the condition strikes so quickly there is no time to wait. The only cure is delivery. In rare cases the condition will get worse before it gets better even after birth. In fact, it's possible to develop preeclampsia as late as 6 weeks post partum.

Preeclampsia can strike any woman. It is more likely to occur in a first pregnancy, but can happen in any pregnancy. Risk factors include age (both teenagers and age 35+ are at greater risk), obesity, having high blood pressure outside of pregnancy, kidney disorders, diabetes (type I, II, and gestational), blood clotting disorders, autoimmune diseases, and carrying multiples. Preeclampsia usually only strikes once, but some women, including myself, get it more than once. The earlier and more severely it occurs, the greater the risk that it will happen again.

After my scary first birth, I was closely monitored in subsequent pregnancies. My second baby was also induced prematurely due to preeclampsia, although I had a milder case with no brain swelling and made it to 37 weeks. I then had a set of twins. I was diagnosed with pregnancy-induced high blood pressure at 22 weeks, and progressed to mild preeclampsia at 31 weeks. Within hours of giving birth at 36 weeks, I experienced severe post partum preeclampsia with brain swelling. As a three-time survivor, I am grateful that God saw fit to let my children and me live. Not everyone is as lucky, as I know from my time in an online support group. I now want to share my story to raise awareness. Every pregnant woman should know the signs and symptoms, and seek treatment promptly if she suspects a problem. If I had known what to look for, and if my doctor had taken my complaints more seriously, it's possible I could have carried my first daughter closer to term as I did my other children.

In addition to raising awareness, this year I am raising money for the Preeclampsia Foundation. On May 22, I will be running a 5K for Chicago's Promise Walk for Preeclampsia. If you wish to donate, you can visit my fundraising website and make a secure online donation.

The Promise Walk for Preeclampsia

More information can be found at the Preeclampsia Foundation.

Second Star to the Right and Straight On 'til the Finish Line

I finished the Princess Half Marathon at Disney World yesterday. Disney sure knows how to put on a race! There was something interesting to look at the whole way. There were lots of people in great costumes, including the man in the head-to-toe frog costume with the sign pinned to the back that said, "Prince in need of a Princess! Please call..." My favorite was Princess Leia in the ankle-length white robe, gold utility belt, and buns over the ears. She had to be burning hot but was having a great time.

I had heard there were 17,000 entrants total. There were 13,091 women and 683 men who finished. I finished 11,005th among the women. It was my worst time yet at 3:22:24, but it was a lot of fun. There were a lot of factors for the slow time including the hot weather and crowded conditions, but the one I can control and need to work on is that I started too fast and burnt out. I was happy, though, that I never skipped a run interval. I wasn't really doing this race for time, anyway. It's my next race where I hope to PR.

I would definitely consider coming back to Disney for another race. It's not a race you run for a personal record, but it is a lot of fun.

Why, Exactly, Shouldn't We Help Mothers Breastfeed?

So Michelle Obama has made breastfeeding the current focus of her career as First Lady. Prominant Republican women like Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman have criticized her for this. While it seems the real motivation behind the criticism is that it was a democrat who suggested it, others have joined in because some women can't breastfeed. Yes, that's true. What's your point?

Imagine if someone had reacted to former First Lady Laura Bush's literacy campaign by saying, "Some people can't read novels due to learning disabilities, others can't read novels due to circumstances that offer them no leisure time, and others choose not to read novels because they just don't want to. Therefore, we should not support public libraries." Ridiculous, right?

Some women have medical issues that prevent them from breastfeeding. No one should feel guilty about being unable to do what they're legitimately unable to do. Some women can't breastfeed due to circumstances. Sometimes life sucks and we have to make hard decisions. No one should feel guilty for doing the best they can with what life throws at them. Some women could breastfeed but don't because they just plain don't want to. And you know what? That's fine, too!

No one is suggesting that women be forced to breastfeed. No one is threatening fines or jail time or taking away children for the "neglect" of formula. All Mrs. Obama wants to do is offer better education and support to those women who really do want to breastfeed but need help to do so. Why, exactly, shouldn't we help mothers who want and need help? Will it really be such a blow to our economy if employers must give working mothers a 15 minute break twice a day and a clean, private space to pump? Will it really make a difference to the running of our government if we make breast pumps and other supplies tax deductible? Is it really creating a "nanny state" to print up some educational materials to have available for new mothers?

I would never criticize another mother for making the best possible decision for herself and her family based on her specific circumstances and the information she has available to her. I do think, though, that at least some women would choose differently if they had access to better information and/or if their circumstances were improved. I will do my best to advocate for those women. If that makes non-breastfeeders feel bad, well, that's their problem. It's too bad the support wasn't available in time to help them.

Thank goodness it's over

After reading a synopsis of Twilight: Breaking Dawn, I posted an angry rant on Facebook. A friend rightly pointed out that I couldn't really judge it if I hadn't actually read it. So I did. All four books. Just for the right to judge it.

Here's my official pronouncement of judgement: It was HORRIBLE!

I don't know what was worse:
--the atrocious grammar
--the nonexistent, boring plot
--the inconsistent, hateful characters
--the codependent, dysfunctional, abusive relationship between Bella and Edward
--the raging sexism and racism
--the trivializing of real tragedies for plot devices
--the constantly changing rules of the universe
--the pedophilia masquerading as fate
--the lack of sexual purity while claiming to champion waiting for marriage

Actually, what was definitely the worst was knowing that I would have absolutely loved this garbage as a teen.

Monkey is mad at me...

...and I don't know why. He woke up early from his nap (yes, he's sleeping again) and started screaming as soon as he saw me. As long as he was distracted and I was out of sight, he was happy and playing. When he caught a glimpse of me, though, he'd come running, screaming and yelling, and hit, bite, and kick me. I have no idea. It lasted until I put him in bed almost an hour early. I'm exhausted. Hope he's in a better mood tomorrow.

What to do about naptime...

Smartie was a great sleeper at night but not so great at napping. She gave up naps completely at 18 months. I fought hard to keep naptime for another 6 months, but eventually I realized it wasn't going to happen. We started doing a "quiet time" instead, which worked great.

Sweetie was completely different. While also a great night sleeper, she took a good 2 hour nap every afternoon until almost 3.5. When she finally gave it up this past summer, she joined her sister in quiet time.

With the twins, I have one of each. Sassy would gladly nap 2-3 hours every afternoon. Monkey hasn't napped at all this past week. The problem is that Monkey does not understand the concept of quiet time, or if he does he has no desire to actually do it. Nap/quiet time is a necessity at our house, too, because it's when Smartie does her school work.

I can't just put him in his crib and let him play. He and Sassy share a room, and will need to for another 2.5 years or so. If I put him in his crib with books, he very quickly starts yelling at Sassy to wake up and play with him. I can't let him play in the basement or living room, either. He'd never stay there, and he'd disrupt school time constantly.

Suggestions welcome. What do you do with a non-napping, active 18 month old boy for 2 hours every afternoon?

The "older" twin

I can't believe Sassy and Monkey are 18 months already. They are growing up so fast. I'm definitely seeing the close bond they share. As I'd heard from other twin mamas, my two have their own language. In fact, they don't use a lot of English, but they sure do talk a lot.

I read years ago in The Birth Order Book by Dr. Kevin Leman that it's not unusual with twins for one to take on the role of older sibling and the other the younger. That's definitely true in our house. I'll share some recent stories to see if you can guess who's the "older" twin.

The twins spent the weekend at my parents. They found a toy Jack-in-the-box that has handles on either side. They each grabbed a handle and proceeded to fight over it. Monkey screamed. Sassy smiled. Monkey screamed! Sassy smiled. Monkey screamed! Sassy looked at Grandpa with a smirk and let go. Monkey fell on his tush and started crying. Sassy laughed and laughed.

In case it's not clear, here's another one. This morning I was going through some mail. Our church had sent out a postcard reminding us of an upcoming event, and there was a beautiful photo on the front. Out loud I wondered, "Who did this?" Without a moment's hesitation, Riley pointed at Gavin and said, "Bubber!"

Oh, dear. We see this over and over. Monkey is bigger and more physically aggressive, but Sassy is in charge.

Races

Papa Runner and I spent a long weekend in Phoenix for the Arizona Rock and Roll Marathon. Papa ran the Half Marathon in 2:20:17. It was great to get away together. We ran into some Team In Training friends we had met at our San Diego race in '08.

Next up: the Disney Princess Half at the end of February. I haven't put in as much training as I'd hoped, but now that we have a treadmill I'm able to put in more miles.