Last year, Papa Runner and I participated in a three-session Bible study on spiritual gifts. The last night of the study, someone mentioned, with my talents and interests, I was probably involved with the crisis pregnancy center. I said I would like to work with them someday, but not at this time since my children are young. This threw the conversation off on a tangent where someone (I don't remember who) said we can't use having kids as an excuse not to serve God. A young mother mentioned how guilty she felt that she couldn't do more to serve the Lord, and a mother whose children were grown felt guilty that she hadn't done more when her kids were young.
This conversation upset me a lot, but I didn't say anything at the time, partly because I'm an introvert and partly because when we got home I discovered I had a fever of 104 and just wasn't able to organize my thoughts properly. It's been over a year, but it still pops into my head from time to time. I know I won't be able to let it go until I get my thoughts out, so here goes.
I am not working with the crisis pregnancy center or any other formal ministry at this time because my children are young, and I don't feel the least bit guilty. I am already called to a very important ministry, and it takes number one priority. In fact, it's SO important, it takes numbers two, three, four, and five priority! My calling is to raise my children to know and love the Lord. Period. Any other ministry that takes away from my first ministry is NOT what I am called to do, no matter how good it is, no matter how well it fits with my gifts.
Now, if I can serve God in other ways without neglecting my role as mother, great! If I can find ways to serve God with my children, even better. Part of my motherhood ministry is to teach my children to serve God and others. But the ministry of motherhood is of utmost importance!
Part of what bothered me that night is that I'm already getting the message from the world and from the feminist movement that being "just" a mom is not good enough. Motherhood is not valued, and only productive work outside the home counts toward my worth. I do not need to hear that from the Church. Quite the opposite, the Church should value and support the ministry of motherhood. If we fail in raising our kids to know the Lord, there won't be a Church much longer. I don't have to serve God outside the home to have a worthwhile ministry. In fact, I shouldn't serve God outside the home if it takes away from my calling within the home. I'm not saying it's wrong to be involved in other ministries if you can, but they should not take away from raising our children.
So mothers, don't feel guilty for not doing more to serve God. You're already doing the most important ministry you will ever do. And don't get so busy in outside service that you neglect your motherhood ministry.
"And ye shall teach them [the Word of the Lord] your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Deuteronomy 11:19 KJV
"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 3 John 4 KJV
4 comments:
I agree Jen. Thanks for sharing. I too, get frustrated when I hear moms talk about their roll as if it were second rate and not as valuable as doing something at a desk, etc. All I can say is, if I can do this ministry of motherhood well, I will NOT be feeling guilty or that I somehow wasted my time.
Thank you Jen! I also agree! last year our church gave quite a call to service in their message series and with that, my husband was able to step into a really good project for his gifts and I tried to get into one thing then another too. Nothing was working out even though the leaders of those were so excited that I might be involved with my talents. I spent so much time with art, animals, kids and music before marriage that I thought certainly those passions and talents would be useful someday. Someday may be the key word. Last year when my girls were 4 and 1 they needed me...really needed me. It was hard for both of them to be away from me for long, like stressful for them. How can I put my 2 little people, who depend only on me, in stress in order to help others who have managed fine without me. God is in charge of me and my family just as He is in charge of other ministries and He provides others to do what needs to be done when we seriously pray for His wisdom and do the responsibility He gives us. If we aren't able now, there should be no feeling guilty. I gave my girls the hugs, comfort, security and teaching they needed when they needed it most. Maybe later I can serve in the church, but my girls were not an excuse when they were young (and still are young). Very important for young mothers to know that we don't need to be involved in everything or even anything that creates stress in the home while we're out. Obviously God has really been working this into me over the past year as well and I've been wanting to write something on this order too. So thank you again!
Completely agree with and love this post!
Thanks for saying it!
Denise B.
I came across this post and it immediately hit me. I am a mother of 2, and I've been a stay home mom ever since my first one was born. Lately I felt so frustrated and angry with myself as a mother, partly due to financial and partly due to my lost of vision of the most important ministry I should be focusing on. Thank you for your post. It reminds me once again how important it is to be a mother to my kids. Thank you.
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