Bing

Have you seen those commercials for the search engine Bing? The basic idea is that other search engines will give you links to websites that are unrelated to your search. For example, a search on "eating fish while pregnant" is as likely to link you to an article on pregnant pandas or fly fishing as it is diet during pregnancy. But if you just use Bing, the "search clutter" will be eliminated, because Bing is apparently psychic and knows what you're really looking for.

So I frequent a website (which will remain nameless because I'm embarassed to admit how much time I spend there) that is sponsored by Bing. When the page loads, Bing automatically scans the article for key words which it will then hyperlink for easy access to additional info and/or vendors. Let's see how well it works:

"Sammy rings the bell." Bing has helpfully linked "rings" to an online jewelry store. Um, I suppose it's easy to mistake the verb for the noun. Not what I'm looking for, but good try.

"He's about as well known as Peter Scolari." Peter Scolari is a little-known TV actor who does lots of guest appearances but is not a star (and yes, I had to look him up because I hadn't heard of him either), and Bing associates him with free HDTV for life from Dish Network. TV actor->HDTV? A bit of a stretch. Come on, Bing.

"They're already making oh man jokes about Oman." A humor site, perhaps? Nope, "jokes" apparently refers to your prospects of getting a low interest rate on your mortgage.

"They will need to purchase train tickets." Finally an easy one! "Train tickets" should link to Amtrak, right? Nope. "Earn $437/day working from home."

Sorry, Bing, your advertising campaign is not cutting it with me. I think I'll stick with Google and Yahoo.