Weird Dream

Last night I dreamed I was a superspy who could turn invisible. I was having a lot of trouble sneaking into the terrorist compound despite my invisibility. Suddenly, I realize I'm dreaming. I turn to my Handler and say, "You know this is a dream, right?"

He says, "Yeah, so?"

I say, "Well then, I can just *fly* in."

"No," he says, "that's not your superpower."

Can I nitpick a moment?

What idiot came up with the current breast cancer awareness campaigns? When I was at the doctor this week, there was a big sign promoting mammograms and self exams. The tag line said, "Many things run in families. Don't let breast cancer be one of them." Ok, I'm pretty sure mammograms don't alter your DNA. Self exams can't prevent you from passing on certain genes to your offspring. If you have a genetic predisposition to breast cancer, it runs in your family whether you get checked or not.

Then there's the PSA done by the women on a local news team reminding us to do our monthly exam and annual mammogram. It says, "The best prevention is early detection." Hello! If you're detecting it, early or otherwise, it's *already happened*! You haven't prevented anything! Unless they're referring to preventing deaths by getting treatment sooner rather than the cancer itself,  but that's not how it sounds.

"Logic! Why don't they teach logic at these schools?"

Stop following

There's a blog in my reading list that I can't stop following. I don't mean that in a "this is so good I can't help myself" way. I literally can't make it stop. I've followed the instructions at least twenty times on multiple days, and it just keeps coming back. There are other blogs I can't stop following, but I don't mind the others so much. This one, though, never fails to make me feel horrible about myself. It's no good to just ignore it and not read; its very presence in my reader is enough to remind me I'm not good enough. Who can I contact to make it stop?

Fear and Violence

I've been reading a fascinating book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. It's all about who commits violence, the warning signs that most people miss, and how to trust your instincts to keep yourself safe. He talks about many types of violence: serial rapists/murderers, wife beaters, stalkers, children who kill parents. I had just finished the chapter on attention-seeking crimes entitled, "Better to be Wanted by the Police than Not Wanted At All," when I heard about Aurora, CO. Why did this man commit this crime? Easy! He wanted the attention. And we're giving him exactly what he wants.

De Becker maintains violent people are in many ways just like the rest of us, and only in a few ways are they different. They want to feel powerful. They want to matter. And when they can't get what they want in socially acceptable ways, they turn to violence to make it happen.

On Facebook the last few days, I've seen this picture from several friends. I don't know if this note is real, or if someone made it up. More important to me, it has tens of thousands of likes. We like it because we like justice: the bully will get what he deserves in the form of a beating. The bullied will be protected. But is justice more important than safety? Will the bully react the way the rest of us would, avoiding the pain and embarassment of a showdown with the linebacker? Remember, his goals in bullying is to be powerful and significant. Will this make him more or less powerful? More or less significant? Will his desire to avoid the linebacker be greater than his desire for power and significance?

Maybe the bully will stop bothering the gay kid (or maybe not). Maybe he'll avoid the linebacker (or maybe he'll bring a gun to school to get revenge for stealing his power and making him insignificant). Maybe this note will temporarily avoid violence. But not forever. Eventually, one way or another, this bully will get his power and significance. Maybe he'll shoot his boss in revenge for firing him. Maybe he'll stalk an ex-girlfriend. Maybe he'll beat his wife and children.

Or maybe, he'll walk into a crowded theater and open fire. What can be more powerful than taking someone's life? What can be more significant than being on the news for months, years even?

We say tragedies like these are "senseless", yet our very society contributes to it by advocating violence. How different could it be if, instead of threatening and embarrasing the bully, someone helped him find his power and significance in something other than violence?

Olympics

I'm looking forward to the Summer Games. Four years ago, Smartie loved watching. All four kids will be excited, I think. While I appreciate him as an athlete, I really hope these Olympics don't become the Michael Phelps Show like Beijing. Yes, his 8 golds were amazing, but there were a lot of other fantastic athletes who were ignored. I remember one female swimmer who won gold. When they interviewed her, they said, "You just won the gold! What do you think of Michael Phelps?" Her face fell for just a second, then she graciously said he was so great, etc. I felt so bad for her. I wish ALL our athletes well, and hope they all get the praise they're due.

Zynga

I read an article today that the stock of Zynga, the complany that makes Farmville, Frontierville, and a dozen other -villes, is dropping fast. I can't say I'm surprised. I played Frontierville for quite a while. It's a pretty fun game. But the business model is inherently flawed. It's a "free" game. How can you make money off a free game? By offering virtual in-game money paid for with real money.

You can spend your virtual money on the ability to skip a mission, or to purchase the items needed to complete a mission. (Also on decorations, but how many people will buy a virtual rock garden?) Think about this: you can pay money to not play the game. Really. Why would I pay money to not play the game when I can not-play for free by just, you know, not playing? Not to mention the whole reason a game is fun is the sense of accomplishment when you conquer it. Very few people will pay actual money to skip/complete missions.

They made the missions harder to complete in an attempt to force people to pay. When I finally quit playing Frontierville, I had 15 missions in my queue. In order to get the things I needed to finish said missions, I would need to request gobs of items from my neighbors. I can only make a certain number of requests a day, can only receive a certain number of items per request, and can only get a limited number of items per day by answering my neighbors' requests. I counted up the number of items I needed, and it would have taken me at least 2 months to get the needed items, assuming I was able to ask the full number of allowed times and got the full number of answers every day. And that was just for the missions currently in my queue! The only way to catch up is to pay to not play which, as I said, defeats the whole point of playing.

And that's why players are leaving Zynga games in droves, and why Zynga stock is dropping like a rock.

Motherhood is a Ministry, Too!

Last year, Papa Runner and I participated in a three-session Bible study on spiritual gifts. The last night of the study, someone mentioned, with my talents and interests, I was probably involved with the crisis pregnancy center. I said I would like to work with them someday, but not at this time since my children are young. This threw the conversation off on a tangent where someone (I don't remember who) said we can't use having kids as an excuse not to serve God. A young mother mentioned how guilty she felt that she couldn't do more to serve the Lord, and a mother whose children were grown felt guilty that she hadn't done more when her kids were young.

This conversation upset me a lot, but I didn't say anything at the time, partly because I'm an introvert and partly because when we got home I discovered I had a fever of 104 and just wasn't able to organize my thoughts properly. It's been over a year, but it still pops into my head from time to time. I know I won't be able to let it go until I get my thoughts out, so here goes.

I am not working with the crisis pregnancy center or any other formal ministry at this time because my children are young, and I don't feel the least bit guilty. I am already called to a very important ministry, and it takes number one priority. In fact, it's SO important, it takes numbers two, three, four, and five priority! My calling is to raise my children to know and love the Lord. Period. Any other ministry that takes away from my first ministry is NOT what I am called to do, no matter how good it is, no matter how well it fits with my gifts.

Now, if I can serve God in other ways without neglecting my role as mother, great! If I can find ways to serve God with my children, even better. Part of my motherhood ministry is to teach my children to serve God and others. But the ministry of motherhood is of utmost importance!

Part of what bothered me that night is that I'm already getting the message from the world and from the feminist movement that being "just" a mom is not good enough. Motherhood is not valued, and only productive work outside the home counts toward my worth. I do not need to hear that from the Church. Quite the opposite, the Church should value and support the ministry of motherhood. If we fail in raising our kids to know the Lord, there won't be a Church much longer. I don't have to serve God outside the home to have a worthwhile ministry. In fact, I shouldn't serve God outside the home if it takes away from my calling within the home. I'm not saying it's wrong to be involved in other ministries if you can, but they should not take away from raising our children.

So mothers, don't feel guilty for not doing more to serve God. You're already doing the most important ministry you will ever do. And don't get so busy in outside service that you neglect your motherhood ministry.

"And ye shall teach them [the Word of the Lord] your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Deuteronomy 11:19 KJV

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 3 John 4 KJV